Asamoah Gyan's career feels like it's a collage that has been put together by a three-year-old who has been given some crayons and their first tube of Smarties; it's a crazy mishmash of ridiculousness that makes absolutely no logical sense.
The Ghanaian striker has played on three different continents, in eight different countries and for ten different clubs, while also having become a boxing promoter, mobile disco business owner and infrequent hip-hop artist on the side.
Just glancing over a brief history of his life is enough to give you a stress-induced migraine.
If it wasn't weird enough that the central striker donned the number three shirt for his country - something that has many football purists scratching their eyeballs out - his over-choreographed and remarkable goal celebrations certainly made him stand out.for better or worse.
Just when we thought Gyan would slip back into the obscurity that often follows a one-hit wonder World Cup campaign, trusty Steve Bruce came calling for the forward.
Not only did Sunderland and Bruce do English football a favour by bringing the eccentric striker to the Premier League, but it actually turned out to be a pretty clever transfer - even if he did set the Black Cats back a then club-record fee of £13m.
Gifted the squad number 33 - because two threes are better than one - Gyan actually turned out to be a pretty decent Premier League footballer, and not just a comedy cult hero.
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Sunderland beat Chelsea 3-0 at Stamford Bridge, thanks to goals from Onuoha, Gyan and Welbeck. pic.twitter.com/KkN6BCK1vH
Ten goals and five assists in his one and only season at the Stadium of Light wasn't half bad, especially when you consider he bagged a 94th-minute equaliser against local rivals Newcastle and an important goal in one of Sunderland's biggest scalps of the Premier League era - an emphatic 3-0 win against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.
Gyan's goals helped the Black Cats to a tenth-placed Premier League finish, something that was considered fairly mediocre given the strength of Sunderland's squad. Regardless, the Ghanaian secured his place in the club's folklore, instantly emerging as a fan favourite in the north east.
Obviously, Gyan's decision to instantly trade elite European football for the vast fortunes of the United Arab Emirates and China after just one full season in the English top-flight somewhat hampered his reputation, but ultimately the forward is remembered fondly across world football for just being a bit of fun.
In a world where football is taken all too seriously, we all need a little Asamoah Gyan in our life. Someone who took the game with a pinch of salt and just embraced the joy of scoring goals and living the high-life of a professional footballer, he will always be looked back on as one of recent history's most interesting players.
Source: 90min
