That’s right, there’s a Patton emerging – the lovely Joanne, 27, from Leeds. A Cheryl Cole lookalike by trade, Joanne Patton is also a model, actor and dancer. Sport.co.uk were only too happy to give her the requisite probing...
So – do you have a team of choice?
JP: I support Middlesbrough because I’m from around there.
Have you ever met any of the players?
JP: I’ve met Matthew Bates, Stewart Downing and Jonathan Woodgate. Craig Hignett did a couple of charity events that I was involved in and he’s a really, really nice guy.
Have you ever dated a footballer?
JP: (Pauses) No, no.
That was a pretty hesitant answer...
JP: I don’t do kiss and tells! (Laughs)
Very well. You’re on the rosters of both Susan Scott’s Lookalikes Agency and A-List Lookalikes Agency – which celebrity do you pose as?
JP: I did a shoot for a calendar and the photographers said, “We think you look a bit like Cheryl Cole in these pictures.” I laughed but I ended up sending some pictures in to Susan Scott’s and I got accepted. So now I’m doing Cheryl Cole lookalikes, which is pretty awesome.
What’s the demand like for Cheryl Cole lookalikes then?
JP: I’m available for bookings for X Factor-style photo shoots, magazine shoots, TV appearances and things like that. I’ve only been with the agency for a month now but there’s been a lot of interest and work coming through.
Do you hang out with the other lookalikes?
JP: I’ve met the Paris Hilton lookalike and I’ve also worked with a couple of the James Bond lookalikes, Jaws and Oddjob. It’s a really good laugh and something else to be involved with – like another hobby, really – and it’s a nice way of meeting new people as well.
Do you never think of getting all the lookalikes together and hitting the town in an orgy of confusion?
JP: That would be a really good laugh. I would actually be up for that. (Laughs)
How did you wind up getting to the finals for Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend?
JP: I went down to London to meet some friends for the weekend and I was stood at King’s Cross station. A couple of guys came over who were begging – then another man came over and began to speak, so I said, “I’m sorry, I’ve got no money.” He said: “No, I’m from ITV studios, I was wondering if you’d like to come for an audition.” Firstly, I apologised to him for thinking he was a beggar! Then I said that’s fine and filled out the application form at ITV studios in Waterloo the next day. Thousands of people had applied for it and I ended up getting into the final 15 girls – we did a little iPod cast which Paris Hilton watched but it was between me and another girl and she didn’t pick me. But it was really exciting to get that far. The build-up was brilliant.
You bear Paris no ill will?
JP: No. I think she’s seen the wrong way. People say she’s an airhead but she’s actually a really clever businesswoman, the way she’s built herself up to stardom and the level of profile that she’s got.
.jpg)
Are you inspired by her entrepreneurialism?
JP: (Laughs) Ideally I’d love to be like that but I think I’ve got a long way to go yet.
But you’ve, erm, got your fingers in a lot of pies, so to speak. Styling, modelling, fashion shows, TV work. What’s your passion?
JP: Ideally, I’d love to be a TV presenter, maybe even for something like a sports channel or a kids’ show. Someone like Davina McCall. I was on her show Love on a Saturday Night which was a good laugh. She’s a lovely lady. We were comparing our tattoos.
What’s your best tattoo?
JP: Probably the gecko that I got on my back. I lived in Tenerife for a few months – I was a jelly girl! So I got the gecko as a reminder of the fun times I had in Spain.
What was Davina McCall’s best tattoo?
JP: She’s got her children’s names.
I’m sure those kids mean a lot to her but gecko wins hands down in Sport.co.uk’s book.
JP: I’m not commenting on that one!
You got to the finals of Miss Glamour Girl UK...
JP: That’s right.
...and therefore into the calendar...
JP: Yeah.
What month were you?
JP: June.
Ah, June – home to D-Day, UFO Day, and birthdays of Frank Lloyd-Wright, Donald Duck and Garfield. Marvellous stuff. But would you have preferred another month?
JP: Probably July because my birthday’s then but it was great to be involved at all. There were 12 really good charities involved – a couple of which are close to my heart for personal reasons – so I was really pleased to be involved with it and hopefully raise lots of money for it.
You were one of the lead girls in a Lynx advert for the Student Kodak Awards. Now, Lynx adverts make some pretty strong boasts – would you really fall for a man who smelled like he’d been marinated in the stuff? Really?
JP: For me, it’s really important for a guy to smell nice. But if they smelled like that then they’d probably have me sneezing and my eyes watering!
What would be your ideal acting role?
JP: Probably a James Bond girl. They always seem like quite powerful women in a way.
Ever thought about what your name would be if you were a bond girl?
JP: No, but I’m open to suggestions.
You can tap dance and pole dance. Which do you prefer?
JP: I did them both for fitness reasons but I had to give up pole dancing because it gave me really bad motion sickness when I was swinging round the pole. You get really bad bruising on your inner thighs from grabbing the pole as well, and that looked bad when I was going swimming or doing modelling. All the inside of my thighs was black and blue. I was only able to do it for 6 months.
Could you ever incorporate both tap and pole dancing into the same routine?
JP: I could do but I don’t think people would pay to see it. (Laughs)
We’re not so sure. Last question’s a weather one: which particular facets of your day-to-day life have been most inconvenienced by the incessant snow we’ve been having?
JP: We got a lot of snow in the north east and it was killing me not being able to wear heels for a month. And a couple of my friends fell over and broke their arms.
Good answer.
JP: Also, I drive a sports car which doesn’t have a back wiper on, so I couldn’t see out of the back of the car during blizzards. So I couldn’t really go anywhere.
...which lessens both the necessity for heels and your chances of slipping over and breaking something, thus tying up proceedings in a neat little package. Joanne, thank you.