Simone Thomas is the beautiful face of The Betting Channel, the nudge-nudge-wink-wink-say-no-more brains behind adult dating site Introseduce.com and the former fling of Stuart “Would You Like to Watch Porn With Me?” Manning of Hollyoaks demi-fame. Disarmingly bright and engaging – and without the sinister imperialistic undertones of, say, Katie Price - Simone is the thinking man’s calendar fodder and gets extra brownie points for answering most of the weirder questions without missing a beat.
Sport.co.uk caught up with her to discuss her work, music, jockey-stacking, bath oils, Claus Lundekvam, Victoria Beckham’s fantasy world (NB – this is not an actual theme park), politics and philosophy…
How are you, Simone?
ST: I’m ok, thank you. Just doing paperwork, so it’ll be nice to have a break!
So, which ex-footballers have you worked with on The Betting Channel?
ST: At the moment, we’ve got Perry Groves coming in two or three times a week. And then there’s The Couch, Mark Winstanley, who’s obviously the big racing expert.
Anyone especially ‘cheeky’?
ST: Oh my god, The Couch does not shut up! It’s 24/7. You need to put a zip on him. Perry’s an absolute gent but The Couch is the one who doesn’t let you get a word in edgeways.
Am I right in saying that you’re all set to be Sport.co.uk’s Hot Babe of the Week?
ST: That’s correct.
How does this honour compare with other accolades that have come your way? Such as appearing in Nuts magazine, for example.
ST: Well, I’ve done modelling for eight years, worked in Vegas many years back and then sort of gave it all up. I’m really lucky now to be working with The Betting Channel, which is going to be showcased on TV soon, as well as the internet. So it’s like starting all over again. Nuts was last week so you’re my second interview with The Betting Channel! It’s fantastic.
Hot Babe of the Week today…Dame Simone Thomas tomorrow?
ST: (Laughs) I’m hopefully going to meet up with the guy that deals with Playboy lingerie in a few weeks, so fingers crossed; that might be quite good.
Oh my, how did I get down here?
Would you like to come and watch some porn on our 32 inch plasma? It’s way better than Stuart’s…
ST: (Bursts out laughing) Oh no! I completely forgot that you’d probably Google and that would come up.
…and we’ve never slept with Lulu…
ST: Yes, Stuart is one of my exes from the past!
We’ve got to do our homework, you know. Stuart threatened to get Lee from Blue to sing at your hypothetical wedding: would you have tolerated this?
ST: God no. I don’t even like Blue, or that kind of music. I’m more of a Hed Kandi, let’s-get-down-and-dance sort of girl. He was definitely cheesy, Stuart Manning. That’s for sure.
What kind of music has inspired you?
ST: Mainly dance music, and I do like Marvin Gaye and all the old classics. Motown as well. But I really like good dance music to go out on a Saturday night to.
Which celebrities have tried hitting on you?
ST: I’ve been linked with Steve Jones [Welsh bloke from T4] in the past but I think everyone has!
Was that just gossip or did he make a play?
ST: Been there, done it, bought the t-shirt! (Laughs) About four years ago, we had a big TalkSport event at Christmas which was full of old jockeys, cricketers and footballers; I think I was the only woman there amongst 200 men, so that was quite entertaining, especially as they were all sporting celebrities.
Would you ever consider dating a jockey?
ST: Oh my god no, I’m 5 foot 11 inches! He’d end up where my legs are or something. I like a good tall man, me.
What about two jockeys?
ST: If you could stack them up on top of each other!
With a big coat draped around them like in the old cartoons? We’ll try and sort that for you.
ST: Thank you. (Laughs)
Oh gosh, another booty call...
Ok, serious question: what would you do if someone approached you on the street, crying about how much money they’d frittered away gambling, and they held you personally responsible for some reason?
ST: Ooh, blimey. I suppose if they wanted to take advice from me then that’s up to them. I’m not making them do it; it’s a personal choice. I wouldn’t actually do anything! (Laughs)
The homepage of your website has a picture of you in the bath…
ST: That was taken at Southampton Football Club, actually.
Did you meet any of the players?
ST: Yeah, funnily enough I was there with an old footballer called Claus…
Lundekvam?
ST: Yeah, it was him! He was fantastic. He was holding the camcorder for all the behind-the-scenes footage. It was really good fun.
Did you have a bath with him?
ST: No. I wish I had! (Laughs) He’s quite nice, actually. Nice and tall. He’s a really good guy.
Which products, oils or lotions would you recommend for a really nice, hot, relaxing soak?
ST: I like the old Radox for a good hot bath…
Good shout.
ST: …and I love the Champneys range for skincare, facials and stuff in the bath as well.
There were also some pictures of you in the shower, writhing around with a blonde lady…
ST: Yeah, she’s my friend.
Do you do that often?
ST: Well, coming from an all-girls school, yeah, it tends to happen quite a lot, when the girls get drunk and stuff. We were having a good day that day at Southampton Football Club.
Um…er…hmmm. Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice that the shower wasn’t on at the time.
ST: No, we had to do a couple of pictures afterwards so we didn’t want the makeup to smudge. So we rubbed loads of baby oil in and pretended that we were slippery from the shower!
No hygiene issues, then? You never know who could have been using it before you. Or what they might have done in it.
ST: (Laughs) The worst thing was, because we had to lie on the floor and it was a football ground so they put sand on the grass, we had sand all over our arses. It wasn’t so comfortable.
Who is your favourite author?
ST: It’s got to be a girl called Adele Parks who writes quite funny stories about women trapping men, like baby trapping them or one of them having multiple affairs. They’re stories that you can believe could happen.
If you could be stuck in a lift with three people, who would they be and why?
ST: One of my favourite actors, probably Al Pacino. Female-wise…probably Kelly Brook.
Why?
ST: Because she’s HOT.
Nice. Just don’t make her read anything. Poor girl struggles a bit with autocues.
ST: I saw her in Calendar Girls the other week. She’s good to look at but she’s not a very good actress, bless her! It was good, though. Who would my third be? (NB – that wasn’t a lame journalistic device – Simone did actually ask herself that) Ooooh. God. Who else do I like? (ditto) Errr…probably Will-i-am. I quite like him because I quite like his music.
Who?
ST: He did the song with Cheryl Cole quite recently. I think he’s from Black Eyed Peas.
The more you know, eh? Speaking of Cheryl Cole, let’s move on to WAG culture. Time was when a ‘wag’ referred to Stadtler and Waldorf…now it refers to Victoria Beckham, who had this to say about her kids recently…
She said of Brooklyn, 10: "He's a real boy. It takes him quite some time to do his hair in the morning before he goes to school.
"Then we have Romeo (seven) who loves fashion. He likes to go out in a suit with a bowler hat.
"And Cruz (four) just wants to break-dance every opportunity he gets."
So…has Victoria Beckham finally lost any remaining grasp on reality that may still have dwelt within her narrow recesses? Isn’t this grotesque?
ST: I like her fashion style but I don’t agree with how skinny she is. How old are her kids, 6 and 10 or something? And they look like they’re 18. Yeah, I think she might have lost the plot a little bit. I think she’s got a bit carried away with everything and doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not.
Do you see the social acceptability of young girls dressing and acting like adults as a dangerous trend?
ST: Oh god yeah. We use Facebook and other social networking sites which you have to be 16 or 18 to use, I think. I get girls emailing me all the time for advice on how to get into TV or glamour modelling and I look at their pictures and I’m like…Jesus. Some of them are 16 but they look like they’re 24: they’ve got they’re Wonderbras on, their skirts are up to their bums and, you know, so much makeup. I don’t agree with it and I don’t think the parents should allow it because then you get all the problems with kids being attacked and paedophiles and rape and everything. It seems nowadays as if kids – especially girls – all want to be famous, all want to be glamour models, so they dress up like a load of slappers!
So what would your advice be to young hopefuls looking for their big break in modelling/TV presenting?
ST: Well I had one girl yesterday, funnily enough, who was 16 and said that her parents wouldn’t pay for a photo shoot but she really wanted to be a glamour model and asked what advice I had. I just said, you know, enjoy what you’ve got for the next couple of years and, if you want to do modelling, start off in fashion or editorial. Don’t go straight into getting your clothes off because that’s what every girl seems to want to do: they want to be the next Lucy Pinder or the next Katie Price, which is great, but there’s so many of them out there that not everyone can make it as big as Katie Price, given that it’s a very hard industry. I think people think it’s easy, that they just have to send a picture to Nuts or Zoo and, in a week or two, they’ll be famous. It doesn’t happen that way at all.
What do you think of Barack Obama?
ST: I like him. I was all up for him, definitely. I think he’s a really cool guy. He’s been a year now in presidency, hasn’t he? I have a thought that he’ll end up getting shot, because of the racism and stuff that seems to go on out there, but hopefully he’ll do really, really well.
Well, fingers crossed he doesn’t get shot any time soon.
ST: It’s so black and white out there. It’s horrible.
Do you think the Democrats’ loss of the 60-vote senate majority will scupper his proposed healthcare overhaul?
ST: Yeah, I saw that today, funnily enough. I think when someone’s put into power then people will always be on their back, trying to get you out and get a bad word about you. So I don’t know if what we read is the truth. I think they should just let him get on with it and do what he’s doing, because people seem to be respecting him. People were voting for him more than anyone before, especially the younger generation, so I’d definitely be on his side if I was an American and living out there.
Onto some more spiritual questions now. What is the relation between our possessions and our souls?
ST: Possessions show who you are, while the soul IS who you are. I guess that’s why everyone dresses differently and looks different; that’s your statement of who you are. Is that alright? (Laughs)
Yes, that’s good. In your opinion, does reason provide us with knowledge of the world independently of experience?
ST: Where the hell did you get these from?? (Laughs uproariously ) Does reason provide us with knowledge of the world that we what??
…independently of experience?
ST: No. It’s all about the experience. I lost my mum and my father – my mum quite recently, last year – and it is all about life experiences. You can’t read something from a book and that’s how you’re then going to be. You have to physically experience something in life and see it for you to then react or find your purpose.
Again, good answer. Is there anything you’d like to say, announce, plug, champion or promote?
ST: Ooh, yes, there is something. The Betting Channel has got Simone’s Tips.com going live in a couple of weeks…
Come again?
ST: Simone’s TIPS, not t*ts! We were going to call it Simone’s T*ts but we thought we better not. Yeah, simonestips.com is going live in February; it’s a direct members site to myself providing telephone tips, online tips, regular photoshoots that you can download or buy pictures of, screensavers, and it’s all linked in with The Betting Channel.
Do you ever get feedback about your dating site, Introseduce.com? From people who’ve hooked up through it, say.
ST: I do. I’ve got quite a few members. I don’t know if you’ve logged on and had a look but it’s an adult dating site; it’s not like your standard Match.com or anything like that. It’s for people looking for fun. What you see is what you get. A girl could say, “All I want is fun tonight, I don’t want a boyfriend”; it’s fantastic. It feeds into something like 33 million members and there’s something there for everybody, definitely. It’s hilarious, you might find your next door neighbour on it! (Laughs)
“Simone Thomas is co-presenter on the newly-launched www.thebettingchannel.tv alongside ex-Sky Sports host Alan Bentley. Among the pundits joining them for top-quality betting advice and analysis Monday to Saturday between 9 and 11am are Gunners hero Perry Groves and former Spurs forward Alan Brazil.”